This was such a shocker, and awful timing I had to share. Gilbert Arenas has a self-help book for sale on Amazon at $16.50 apiece. Absolutely bad timing is my first thought followed by “what was he thinking. Below is an excerpt of the book, with my own comments.

Hello there. Yes, you. How are you? I am Gilbert Arenas. Thank you for picking up my book and opening the cover. You have just taken a major step toward improving your life.(Doubt it) What you hold in your hands is the self-help book to end all self-help books. The lessons found inside helped to take me, Gilbert Arenas, from being a skinny, overlooked high school basketball player, to being told in college that he wasn’t good enough to start, to being an NBA superstar.(then a felon)

I went from zero to hero. In fact, I went from zero to hero to Agent Zero.(to Zero $)

Who knows where this information will take you! Look where I am, and I didn’t have the advantage of having all this imparted to me in a book. (unfortunately)

Want to learn how to stay motivated each and every day of your life?

Want to learn the best way to shoot a free throw? (Gil was shooting 73% this season)

Want to learn how to speak to a woman like Agent Zero? (too funny for words)

All these answers—and many others—are inside.

My book is stuffed full of stories, tips, and anecdotes that will make you think, make you laugh, and make you cry (hopefully from laughter). I like to enjoy my life, and I think you will enjoy my book.

If you are a longtime Gilbert Arenas fan, buy this book. If you are or know a sports fan, buy this book. If you are hot and in need of a fan, buy this book and wave it back and forth in front of your face on the way up to the cash register to buy it.

Score Like Agent Zero is conversational, sometimes controversial, and always laugh-out-loud funny. I can’t guarantee that this book will help you score sixty points, but it will allow you to score an all-access pass into my mind and to the secrets behind my success.

All the information is in here. I wrote the book. Now you just have to read it.

Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE/Getty Images

NBA commissioner David Stern has indefinitely suspended Gilbert Arenas, saying the Washington Wizards guard is “not currently fit to take the court” for a game. Stern says in a statement Wednesday that Arenas’ actions will “ultimately result in a substantial suspension, and perhaps worse.” Because Arenas violated NBA rules by bringing guns into Washington’s locker room, Stern decided to punish Arenas now. He said the suspension begins immediately.

“We fully endorse the decision of the NBA to indefinitely suspend Gilbert Arenas,” the Wizards responded in a statement on Wednesday. “Strictly legal issues aside, Gilbert’s recent behavior and statements, including his actions and statements last night in Philadelphia, are unacceptable. Some of our other players appeared to find Gilbert’s behavior in Philadelphia amusing. This is also unacceptable. Under Abe Pollin’s leadership, our organization never tolerated such behavior, and we have no intention of ever doing so.”

Stern says he originally planned to wait for the criminal investigation to be completed before taking action, and had directed the Wizards to do the same. His number is 0 and thats how much he will be making. Every game Arenas, who celebrated his 28th birthday on Wednesday, ends up missing during the suspension will cost him $147,208.

The suspension has ended what was supposed to be a triumphant comeback season for Arenas, after he had missed most of the last two seasons following three separate knee surgeries, including a microfracture procedure in November, 2007. He missed almost the rest of the 2007-08 season and all but two games of the 2008-09 season after his third operation, in 2008. He had started all of Washington’s 32 games this season, posting averages of 22.6 points, a career-best 7.2 assists and 4.2 rebounds. But he was shooting just 41 percent from the field, and the Wizards were the league’s biggest disappointment, with an 11-21 record going into Wednesday’s game against Cleveland.

After Tuesday’s game, Arenas would not give details about the locker room gun incident, saying, “I have loyalty to my teammates…We know what’s out there is so far from the truth,” “I mean, Stern is mean,” Arenas replied. he told reporters.

Various reports in Washington have said that prosecutors will convene a grand jury to look into the gun incident. Arenas was asked who he feared the most, prosecutors or David Stern.

“I mean, Stern is mean,” Arenas replied.

Bad move.

What do you get when you mix time+$$$+time-brains+time-attention=The #1 Abraham Lincoln fan Deshawn Stevenson!