We resolve to get to the bottom of why we gave Joe Johnson so much damn money. He does lead us in points, but will we make it deep in the playoffs….of course not. ( same as last years resolution)
We the Boston Celtics resolve to let Rondo shoot nothing but threes for an entire game, just to see what happens….
I, Paul Silas resolve to survive the entire season.
I, Derrick Rose resolve to continue dominating basketball, postgame interviews and my acne.
We resolve to continue to be a horrible team until Dan Gilbert can finally complete the cloning of LeBron James, let the clone grow to 18 years of age, then draft him with the #1 pick in the 2030 Draft.
I, Lamar Odom will drive to Galveston Beach each off day so I can look at the ocean and remember what once was.
We the Pistons resolve to find some food for Austin Daye, and to have Ben Gordons arms chopped off!
We the Nuggets resolve to be extremely grateful that Coach Karl is back and healthy!
GOLDEN ST. WARRIORS
I, Coach Mark Jackson resolve to stop yelling “Hands down, man down” to everyone on the team, every possession.
We the Houston Rockets resolve to continue pitting Chase Budinger, and Chandler Parsons against each other until they are forced to fight to the death.
We resolve to let Physcho T run into the stands at least once this season.
We resolve to keep our racist ass owner away from Chris Paul, and keep Chris thinking that Frankie Muniz is indeed the owner of the team.