ATLANTA HAWKS

We resolve to get to the bottom of why we gave Joe Johnson so much damn money. He does lead us in points, but will we make it deep in the playoffs….of course not. ( same as last years resolution)

BOSTON CELTICS

We the Boston Celtics resolve to let Rondo shoot nothing but threes for an entire game, just to see what happens….

CHARLOTTE BOBCATS

I, Paul Silas resolve to survive the entire season.

CHICAGO BULLS

I, Derrick Rose resolve to continue dominating basketball, postgame interviews  and my acne.

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

We resolve to continue to be a horrible team until Dan Gilbert can finally complete the cloning of LeBron James, let the clone grow to 18 years of age, then draft him with the #1 pick in the 2030 Draft.

DALLAS MAVERICKS

I, Lamar Odom will drive to Galveston Beach each off day so I can look at the ocean and remember what once was.

DETROIT PISTONS

We the Pistons resolve to find some food for Austin Daye, and to have Ben Gordons arms chopped off!

DENVER NUGGETS

We the Nuggets resolve to be extremely grateful that Coach Karl is back and healthy!

GOLDEN ST. WARRIORS

I, Coach Mark Jackson resolve to stop yelling “Hands down, man down” to everyone on the team, every possession.

HOUSTON ROCKETS

We the Houston Rockets resolve to continue pitting Chase Budinger, and Chandler Parsons against each other until they are forced to fight to the death.

INDIANA PACERS

We resolve to let Physcho T run into the stands at least once this season.

L.A. CLIPPERS

We resolve to keep our racist ass owner away from Chris Paul, and keep Chris thinking that Frankie Muniz is indeed the owner of the team.

L.A. LAKERS

We resolve to plant testosterone tablets in Pau Gasol’s drinks throughout the season.

MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES

We resolve to get Tony Allen as far away from our team as possible.

MIAMI HEAT

We resolve to win the Finals, not for LeBron but for original man: Juwan Howard.

MILWAUKEE BUCKS

We resolve to get to the bottom of signing of Mike Dunleavy Jr.!

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

I, Kevin Love resolve to rebound every ball, on every shot, from every basketball game in the world.

NEW JERSEY NETS

We resolve to play in Brooklyn until Brooklyn realizes that the Nets play in Brooklyn, then we haul ass to Russia! #NYETS

NEW ORLEANS HORNETS

We the NBA speak for the Hornets, and the Hornets have nothing to say!

NEW YORK KNICKS

I, Carmelo Anthony resolve to remember that I, Carmelo am the only option, and I need to shoot every single time!

OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

We resolve to do whatever we can to keep Russell Westbrook from becoming Stephon Marbury and eventually eating Vaseline on Twitter!

ORLANDO MAGIC

I, Dwight Howard resolve to ask, demand, then say pretty please for a trade.

PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

We resolve to hire Michael Vick as soon as the NFL season is over. He will suit up and be in the starting lineup, just for the player introductions, but he wont play any minutes.

PHOENIX SUNS

I, Steve Nash resolve to never leave the Suns, and continue playing until they can find a point guard better then I.

PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS

We resolve to burn some Sage in the Rose Garden, because our team is definitely cursed!

SACRAMENTO KINGS

We resolve to remind all those fans that fought to keep the team in Sacramento that the team is still in Sacramento

SAN ANTONIO SPURS

We resolve to casually ignore the age of our Big 3, but encourage fans to purchase DeJuan Blair Bears from the gift shop

TORONTO RAPTORS

We resolve to call the NBA everyday, and send flowers so that they remember there is a team in Toronto.

UTAH JAZZ

We resolve to remind the Jazz players that the sign that said “Team of Misfit Players” was not funny.

WASHINGTON WIZARDS

We resolve to let John Wall do whatever he wants to and to continue letting Glbert Arenas in the locker room so he can shit in Rashard Lewis’s shoes.

The Sacramento Kings are close to a new deal that will see Power Balance LLC, maker of sports wristbands designed to work with your body’s, “natural energy field” replace ARCO as the naming-rights sponsor of the team’s arena, according to multiple reports.

With the start of a new year, teams make their own resolutions.  Here is a team by team look at those resolutions.

ATLANTA HAWKS

We resolve to get to the bottom of why we gave Joe Johnson so much damn money. He does lead us in points, but will we make it deep in the playoffs….of course not.

BOSTON CELTICS

We the Boston Celtics resolve to play at least one game with both O’Neal’s on the court at the same time. I, the Boston Celtics  fan resolve to relax and enjoy each game because if anyone gets injured the world will not end.

CHARLOTTE BOBCATS

I, Michael Jordan resolve to stop wearing all my rings on one necklace to every Bobcats meeting.

CHICAGO BULLS

We resolve to kept nurturing Derrick Rose, and to keep Carlos Boozer and his weird beard away from him.

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

We resolve to simply exist before the NBA goes through with contraction and makes us a NBDL team. I, the Cavs fan will save up and buy the Fathead of Daniel Gibson for no reason whatsoever.

DALLAS MAVERICKS

I, Rick Carlisle resolve to stop making faces like Jim Carrey, and to let jason Terry do whatever he wants in the 4th quarter.

DETROIT PISTONS

I, Tayshaun Prince resolve to ask Joe Dumars nicely if I can be traded, then pray its not to Toronto.

DENVER NUGGETS

We resolve to trade Carmelo to the highest bidder, then struggle until we draft anthoer Carmelo and repeat the same process.

GOLDEN ST. WARRIORS

We resolve to never sign a legitimate big man so we can never truly play defense.

HOUSTON ROCKETS

I, the Houston Rockets fan resolve to lower our expectations until Michael Jordan goes and plays baseball for two years.

INDIANA PACERS

We resolve to sleep through the rest of this year, and promptly wake up during the lottery selection this summer.

L.A. CLIPPERS

I, Donald Sterling resolve to continue being concerned about only money, and as long as Blake Griffin makes me money he stays….for cheap of course.

L.A. LAKERS

We resolve to work all year so we actually play a competitive game on Christmas. We also resolve to never let Kobe and Nike convince us that Lime green sneakers are cool.

MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES

We resolve to save our money, to pay for the shipping of all the equipment to our new home in Seattle.

MIAMI HEAT

I, Miami Heat fan resolve to show up to games on time, especially once the playoffs start. At least we will make it seem that basketball games are more fun then the beach, or clubs full of young hispanic women.

MILWAUKEE BUCKS

We resolve to continue doing whatever it was we did to beat the Lakers. *Brandon Jennings didn’t play

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

I, Kevin Love resolve to rebound every ball, on every shot, from every basketball game in the world.

NEW JERSEY NETS

We resolve to never put an ad across from Madison Square Garden again. Unless of course, if we get Carmelo Anthony then we get to play in the Garden.

NEW ORLEANS HORNETS

We the NBA speak for the Hornets, and the Hornets have nothing to say.

NEW YORK KNICKS

I, Spike Lee resolve to continue wearing clothes too big for me to games, and my Landry Fields jersey, even if he gets traded.

OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

We resolve to take out as many loans as possible to keep Russell Westbrook away from Los Angeles.

ORLANDO MAGIC

I, Dwight Howard will work on my three point shooting so I can fit in better with the team.

PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

We resolve to hire Michael Vick as soon as the NFL season is over. He will suit up and be in the starting lineup, just for the player introductions, but he wont play any minutes.

PHOENIX SUNS

I, Marcin Gortat, will continue to plead with my teammates to play defense, even if they speak another language.

PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS

I, Trail Blazers fan will take a class in physical therapy so I can be more hands on with the players.

SACRAMENTO KINGS

We, the Maloof Brothers resolve to finish construction on our secret basketball stadium in Las Vegas. We also must sit Tyreke Evans down and ask that he not hit 50 footers to win games and instead keep piling on the loses.

SAN ANTONIO SPURS

We resolve to casually ignore the age of our Big 3, but encourage fans to purchase DeJuan Blair Bears from the gift shop

TORONTO RAPTORS

We resolve to call the NBA everyday, and send flowers so that they remember there is a team in Toronto.

UTAH JAZZ

We resolve to continue research into age-defying potions that can make it possible for Jerry Sloan to coach the Jazz forever.

WASHINGTON WIZARDS

We resolve to finally change our name back to the Bullets, and once again lose out on front page reports to real bullets.

(AP Photo/Thearon Henderson)

On Wednesday night with 5.5 seconds on the clock and the game on the line, the Memphis Grizzlies inbounded the ball to O.J. Mayo. He promptly took about four steps then nailed a long jumper giving the Grizzlies the 98-97 lead over the Sacramento Kings. Nothing positive has happened for the Kings all season, NOTHING, but with no timeouts and 1.5 seconds left DeMarcus Cousins inbounded the ball to Tyreke Evans and the rest is history:

Kings forward Donte Greene started celebrating while the ball was still high in the air, and was possibly more elated then Tyreke Evans. DeMarcus Cousins lean to the right also aided the ball in some sort of magical way.

So far this season the Kings are 6-23, but when fans look back on this season, Evan’s shot will be the bright spot.

Good for them.

(AP Photo/Amy Sancetta)

The Boston Celtics were in Cleveland for opening night of the King-less Cavaliers.  Playing its first game in seven years without THE DECISION MAKER, the Cleveland Cavaliers beat the OLD Celtics 95-87. J.J. Hickson scored 21 points, Daniel Gibson added 16 — all in the second half –.  Rajon Rondo lead the Celtics in scoring with 18.  If Rondo leads in scoring, it means one thing, the Celtics are tired.  Since Cleveland beat the Celtics and they beat the Heat is Cleveland the best tema in the East?  I’m joking.

New Jersey Nets gave Russian billionaire Mikhail Prokhorov a win in his first game as their owner with a 101-98 victory over the Detroit Pistons. The Nets outscored the Pistons 13-3 in the final 1:40 to give Avery Johnson a win in his first game as coach — coming much quicker than last season, when they set an NBA record by losing their first 18 games and not getting that first W till December 4th.  Brook Lopez led the Nets with 25 points and nine boards, and Devin Harrisvadded 22 points and nine dimes. Tayshaun Prince, Rodney Stuckey and Charlie Villanueva each had 14 points.

Atlanta Hawks 119 – Memphis Grizzlies 104: The last time the Grizzlies won on opening night was when they were in Vancouver, defeating the Seattle SuperSonics at home, 94-88 on Oct. 31, 2000. … Memphis went 8-0 in the preseason … Atlanta has won eight of its last nine regular-season games against Memphis and is 20-10 all-time against the Grizzlies.

Durant scored 30 points, Russell Westbrook had 28 points and 10 boards and Oklahoma City beat their young Eastern Conference equivalent Chicago Bulls, 106-95 in the season opener for both teams. Derrick Rose scored 28 points to lead the Bulls but sat for a long stretch due to foul trouble.  A late 11-0 run for the Thunder sealed the deal.  Joakim Noah finished with 18 points and 19 boards.

(Photo by Drew Hallowell/Getty Images)

After losing on opening night in Boston the Miami Heat got just what the Dr.(J) ordered the Philadelphia 76ers. The Big Three got help from the bench in the Heat’s 97-87 victory over the 76ers on Philadelphia’s opening night. Dwyane Wade was much better scoring 30 points while LeBron James finished with 16 points, 7 dimes, and 6 boards.  James did have 9 turnovers, retaking the T.O. lead again from Steve Nash.  James Jones scored 20 off the bench for Miami connecting on 6 of 9 threes.  If the 76ers plan on winning Andre Iguodala will have to score waaaaayyyy more then 10 points in 39 minutes.

Chris Paul had 17 points and 16 dimes, and the New Orleans Hornets gave Monty Williams a victory in his NBA head coaching debut, 95-91 over the Milwaukee Bucks. Trevor Ariza had 11 points in his Hornets debut, including a dunk set up by Belinelli to put the Hornets up 90-84 late in the game. Still, it was the old foundation that remained — Paul and West — which led the way. West scored the Hornets’ first 10 points of the second half, finishing with 22.  Paul’s 16 assists set a franchise record for assists in a season opener, eclipsing the 14 Muggsy Bogues had on Nov. 6, 1992 against Washington.  The Bucks got a solid effort from Brandon Jennings 15 points, 10 dimes, Andrew Bogut 15 points, 15 boards and Carlos Delfino lead the Bucks with 19 points.

Carl Landry and Fransisco Garcia combined for 44 points.  Thats right two guys you barely know scored 44 points and lead the Sacramento Kings to a 117-116 victory over the Minnesota Timberwolves in their home opener.  For the first time in seven years the Kings are 1-0. Minnesota got one double-double from Kevin Love, but Wolves head coach Kurt Rambis played him only 24 minutes electing to go with Anthony Tolliver(who died last season after that Stoudemire dunk).

(AP Photo/Mike Fuentes)

Jason Kidd went old-school dishing out 18 dimes in the Dallas Mavericks 101-86 win over the Charlotte Bobcats.  Dirk Nowitzki lead all scores with 28, and Jason Terry contributed 22 points.  Tyrus Thomas scored 22 points and Gerald Wallace had 16 for the Bobcats, who’ve never beaten the Mavericks in 13 meetings. Michael Jordan will not be pleased.

Tim Duncan had 23 points, 12 boards and 4 blocks, Manu Ginobili scored 22 points and Parker had 20, leading the Spurs to a 122-109 victory over the Indiana Pacers. Roy Hibbert led Indiana with 28 points and Danny Granger had 26. Darren Collison scored 19 points in his debut for the Pacers. The Spurs had this game won in the first 5 minutes…they could have just ended it then.

The Utah Jazz got 6 points out of Al Jefferson and 3-10 shooting from Deron Williams.  Without reading the next line an outcome should have already been formulated.  Carmelo Anthony scored 23 points, Arron Afflalo added 22 and the Nuggets opened the season with a 110-88 win over the Utah Jazz. The Nuggets were elimanted by the Jazz last year, but both teams looked entirely different from last season.  The Nuggets having head coach George Karl back on the sideline was the majority of the difference. “It’s an honor and a privilege to try to be a special team in this league,” Karl said. “To coach one is my privilege. to play on one is your privilege.” Also Shelden Williams had 8 points and 16 boards.

The Los Angeles Clippers are a cursed franchise.  There is no getting past the curse it seems as the Clippers welcomed the (other cursed team) Portland Trail Blazers on opening night. Brandon Roy  scored 22 points(10 boards) and the Portland Trail Blazers spoiled the NBA debut of Blake Griffin with a 98-88 victory over the Los Angeles Clippers. Griffin got off to an insane start scoring seven straight points, he finished with 22 points and 14 boards.  LaMarcus Aldridge added 19 points and 10 boards for the Blazers, who gave Nate McMillan his 200th victory as coach. Nicolas Batum scored 15 points, Andre Miller 14 and former Clippers center Marcus Camby had 11 points and 14 boards.

The Houston Rockets played a back-to-back game.  That means NO Yao Ming.  No Yao, no defense. Monta Ellis matched his career high with 46 points, Stephen Curry added 25 points and 11 assists, and the Golden State Warriors won Keith Smart’s coaching debut by beating the Houston Rockets 131-128. Luis Scola had 36 points and 16 rebounds, while Kevin Martin added 28 points for the Rockets.  David Lee had 17 points and 15 rebounds, and Dorell Wright scored 15 points to help the Warriors to their first season-opening win since 2005. They also snapped a nine-game losing streak to the Rockets dating to 2007.  Chuck Hayes, had 16 points, eight boards and six dimes.

The Sacramento Kings have a legitimate chance of making the playoffs in the Eastern Conference. Unfortunately they play in the Western Conference’s Pacific Division, where they finished 25-57 last season.

Last years rookie of the year Tyreke Evans has a lot of work ahead of him. The Kings fared extra poorly against the West last season. If the Kings are to have a Tunder-like season, Tyreke must play at an All-Star level!

The 5th pick in the draft DeMarcus Cousins has the potential to earn the Kings back-to-back Rookie of the Year crowns.

Samuel Dalembert will give the Kings a much tougher post presence along with rookie Hassan Whiteside. Between Dalembert, Cousins, Whiteside, Carl Landry and Jason Thompson, the Kings now have a deep frontcourt that collectively brings rebounding, scoring, toughness and shot blocking. Thats a lot of 6’11″s.

The hard road ahead for this team rest heavily on the shoulders of Carl Landry. Carl isn’t the best player on the team, but the most determined and having him on your roster is good in many ways.

After watching this video I felt the urge to vote for the Kings, although I’m pretty sure they weren’t running for office.

“Getty Images” aka Dalembert looks ready for the season!  Now that’s a war face!

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Jeremy Lin of the Golden St. Warriors with the goofy smile. The GSW jersey seems felt-heavy!

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Kentucky’s five first-round picks: DeMarcus Cousins, Eric Bledsoe, Patrick Patterson, John Wall and Daniel Orton

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Cole Aldrich, of the Oklahoma City Thunder is ready! Are you?!

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Eric Bledsoe, Al-Farouq Aminu and Willie Warren of the Clippers will all be playing for some other team in less then 5 seasons. Welcome to the Clippers! Aminu should ball in the glasses he wore on draft day.

Both games between the NBA champion Lakers and the Miami Heat, led by their All-Star triumvirate of Chris Bosh, reigning NBA Most Valuable Player presented by Kia Motors LeBron James, and Dwyane Wade, will air nationally. The Lakers host the Heat on Christmas Day on ABC (5 p.m. ET), with the Heat hosting in Miami on March 10 on TNT (8 p.m. ET).

One of the league’s most experienced and battle-tested teams matches up against one of its youngest and most explosive squads on Nov. 19, when Boston’s quintet of stars – Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett, Shaquille O’Neal, Paul Pierce and Rajon Rondo – hosts reigning scoring champion Kevin Durant, emerging star Russell Westbrook and the Oklahoma City Thunder (ESPN, 7 p.m. ET).

TNT’s Thanksgiving night doubleheader will begin with All-Stars Joe Johnson and Al Horford leading the Hawks against the Washington Wizards and John Wall, the top overall selection in the 2010 NBA Draft (8 p.m. ET). The second game features Blake Griffin, last year’s top overall selection, and the Los Angeles Clippers hosting reigning T-Mobile NBA Rookie of the Year Tyreke Evans and the Sacramento Kings (10:30 p.m. ET).

In James’ first visit to Cleveland as an opposing player, the Heat takes on Antawn Jamison and the Cavaliers on Dec. 2 (TNT, 8 p.m. ET).

Rockets General Manager Daryl Morey on Houston Sports Radio 610:

In one of the league’s best rivalries, All-Stars Chauncey Billups and Carmelo Anthony lead the Denver Nuggets when hosting the Los Angeles Lakers and All-Stars Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol on Friday, Jan. 21 (ESPN, 10:30 p.m. ET).

The Orlando Magic, led by reigning Defensive Player of the Year Dwight Howard and star guard Jameer Nelson, hosts All-Star Derrick Rose and the new-look Chicago Bulls, including star forward Carlos Boozer, on March 4 (ESPN, 7 p.m. ET).

Two of the league’s most potent offenses go head-to-head when the Steve Nash-led Phoenix Suns, which led the league in scoring last year, host the Denver Nuggets and their high-octane offense, powered by All-Stars Carmelo Anthony and Chauncey Billups, on Thursday, March 10 (TNT, 10:30 p.m. ET).

In its 27th year of NBA coverage, TNT will televise 52 regular-season games, including 44 as part of Thursday night doubleheaders and a doubleheader on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. TNT will also exclusively televise NBA All-Star 2011 festivities in Los Angeles Feb. 18-20, culminating with the NBA’s 60th All-Star Game on Sunday, Feb. 20.

ESPN will televise 75 regular-season games, which include 27 games on Wednesdays and 35 on Fridays. ESPN telecasts are also available via ESPN3.com, with nearly all on ESPN Mobile TV. ESPN Deportes (ESPN’s Spanish-language U.S. sports network) will also televise 22 regular-season games and, for the first time, select games will be available on ESPN3D. The ABC national television schedule consists of 13 exclusive regular-season broadcasts and tips off with a doubleheader on Christmas Day.

The NBA on ABC and ESPN presents flexible scheduling throughout the regular season in order to provide the most compelling matchups to a national audience.

NBA TV tips off its 96-game regular season schedule on Saturday, Oct. 30, when the Rockets welcome the Nuggets at 8:30 p.m. ET. For the third consecutive year, NBA TV will feature Fan Night on Tuesdays throughout the season, debuting Nov. 2. On Fan Night, NBA fans are given the opportunity to vote for the games they want to see televised nationally on NBA TV on that particular night.

Heres the link to all the National TV games, no sign of Toronto on the list.

*Noteworthy Games:

The Los Angeles open their title defense at home against the Houston Rockets, who return to nationally televised games. The Lakers will get their rings and sadly Trevor Ariza will watch his old team get their back-to-back bling.

Miami and the Lakers will be undoubtley get the maximum 34 nationally televised games. The Heat open their season in Boston against the Celtics. The last games of the playoffs for both LeBron James, and Dwayne Wade took place in Boston, how fitting.

On October 30th the two of the NBA future teams , Chicago and Oklahoma City battle. Out of the games announced today the Thunder have more then the Celtics, Lakers, or Heat.

No nationally televised games(so far)for the Raptors, Mavs, Spurs, Bucks, Pacers, Pistons, Bobcats, Timberwolves(how will Rubio see the games?), Hornets, Nets, 76ers or Cavs.

Schedule continues after the jump!

A video released by the California Highway Patrol shows Evans speeding past vehicles on Interstate 80 in his purple Mercedes. CHP officers say he was driving 120 to 130 miles per hour. The video below of the 20-year-old NBA Rookie of the Year was shot from a plane on Memorial Day weekend.

After being stopped by police, Evans was arrested at gunpoint. Attorneys say he pleaded no contest to reckless driving, was sentenced to 80 hours of community service, ordered to take part in teen driving programs and lost his license for 30 days.

If you buy a Mercedes, a PURPLE one at that, and you can’t go 120 to 130 mph, then what’s the point? Why do cars even have speedometers that go that high. It would make since for cars made to be driven in the United States be regulated to go only as fast as the law allows. But the story is Evans getting the not so fun feeling of cold metal locking around his wrists.

We hope its the last time.