Knicks celebrate their 1st Playoff win in 13 years!

If there was ever a NBA team that was in need of a book depicting the ongoings of a season, this years New York Knicks team is a prime candidate.

From the beginning of the season the New York Knicks “on paper” appeared to be a formidable team. The signing of Tyson Chandler away from the Dallas Mavericks in the off-season meant a strong defensive presence in the paint, and Tyson made good on that belief winning the Defensive Player of the Year. Also bringing in Baron Davis, and Mike Bibby meant that rookie Iman Shumpert, and Landry Fields had veterans that could help their development. All-Stars Amar’e Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony would get their first full season together, and the combination of the two would put the Knicks in the same league as the Lakers, Heat, Boston and Thunder (teams with multiple All-Stars).

The Knicks season got off to a slow and confusing start. Knicks coach Mike D’Antoni shuffled the lineup throughout the first twenty games playing nearly everyone on the roster, including Bill Walker. The Knicks went 7-13 in the first 20 games complete with a 4-game winning streak, and a 6-game losing streak. Toney Douglas ran the point as long as he could before everyone noticed that he probably shouldn’t, and the Knicks promptly signed a castaway from the Warriors,and Rockets, point guard  Jeremy Lin.

But it wasn’t until a back-to-back-to-back at the beginning of February where the Knicks hopes swayed in a new direction. On the night of the last of the back-to-back’s D’Antoni decided to give Jeremy Lin more minutes and he responded with 25 points, and 7 dimes against the Nets. The win from that game became contagious, and the worldwide phenomenon known as Linsanity began. The Knicks would lose Carmelo Anthony to injury in the next game, and also Amar’e Stoudemire due to the death of his brother. Losing both All-Stars would be devastating to most teams, but thanks to the schedule, and the sudden Linsanity the Knicks rolled off 7 wins in a row, bringing their record to .500.

Amar'e, Lin, Melo

Only in New York does anyone go from nobody to somebody overnight, and thats whom to blame for Linsanity. Don’t get me wrong Jeremy Lin is a good basketball player, and in D’Antoni’s system he flourished, but when the hype met true talent in the Miami Heat and their 3 All-Stars, Linsanity dissipated.

The Knicks All-Stars finally returned but the rotation of players caused confustion on the court, not to mention the signing of J.R.Smith. Following an ugly start to March where the Knicks lost 6 straight head coach Mike D’Antoni decided to resign.

According to interim general manager Glen Grunwald, D’Antoni came to him on Wednesday morning (3/14)  and said he was thinking of making a change. When asked what that was, D’Antoni told him he was thinking of resigning.

Grunwald said he and assistant general manager Allan Houston then spoke to Dolan, who went to the Knicks’s practice facility and spoke with D’Antoni. According to Grunwald, Dolan and D’Antoni then worked out the details leading to the resignation.

D’Antoni had given no inkling of what was to come when he put the Knicks through what he said was a good a morning shotaround Wednesday. “You battle against it and I think we’re cohesive enough to battle through this and we expect to do that,” he said then. Only hours later, he resigned.Mike Woodson, the defensive coach, was named the interim coach and the Knicks finished the season 18-6.

If that wasn’t enough, after the March 24th game against the Detroit Pistons, Lin complained about a sore knee, and an MRI later revealed a small meniscus tear in the left knee. The Knicks announced on March 31 that Lin opted to have knee surgery and would miss the rest of the regular season.

OUCH!

The Knicks tumultuous season culminated in the #7 spot in the Playoffs, putting them up against last years Eastern Conference Champs the Miami Heat. In Game 1 rookie Iman Shumpert blew out his knee, ending his season, and in Game 4 Baron Davis blew out his knee, maybe ending his career. After three beat-downs by Miami including a 100-67 win by the Heat in Game 1, Amar’e punching a frie extinguisher and nearly losing full use of his left hand the Knicks avoided being swept in Madison Square Garden winning Game 4, ending a 13 year winless streak in the Playoffs.

On Wednesday the Heat finished their gentlemen’s sweep sending the Knicks home 106-94. The Knicks lost all four games by double digits and were outscored by a total of 70 points for the series.  Carmelo Anthony  did accomplish something relatively rare in the Knicks defeat becoming the third Knicks player to score 30+ points in 3+ games of a single playoff series. Patrick Ewing and Bernard King were the only other Knicks to accomplish that feat.

The Knicks might have an offseason decision to make if another team’s interested in Amar’e Stoudemire. Over the last 2 seasons including the playoffs, the Knicks have gone just 31-40 with BOTH Carmelo Anthony and Amar’e Stoudemire in the lineup, including 1-7 in the postseason. Next year will probably bring a new coach, and a slew of new faces but Knicks fans can fall back on the old adage “There’s Always Next Year.”

The New York Knicks have not won a Playoff game since 2001. Coming into Game 3 there was little expectation that they would get that win with All-Star forward Amar’e Stoudemire sidelined with an injured left hand. Without Amar’e the Knicks showed signs of maybe getting that elusive W, as both the Knicks and the Heat shot poorly throughout the game. Then the 4th quarter came and Heat coach Erik Spoelstra put LeBron James back in after he had sat nearly 9 minutes due to foul trouble.

The 4th quarter has not been fond to James, but he single handily kept the Knicks from getting the win, and gave his Miami Heat a commanding 3-0 lead. James scored 32 points, including 17 in the 4th quarter, the Knicks had 14 points in the 4th quarter.  On Sunday the Knicks will attempt to stop their 13 game playoff losing streak and hopefully send the series back to Miami. HEAT lead series 3-0. 

The Knicks tied the NBA record for the “shot-clock era” of 38 straight playoff games with fewer than 100 points.

Meanwhile in Dallas, the defending NBA champs were also faced with a 2-0 deficit placed upon them by the Oklahoma City Thunder. If there was any indication that Tyson Chandler made the wrong decision this offseason, it is made clear by his current situation with the Knicks and the fate of his former team.

The first two games in OKC were close games that came down to the last possession, but Game 3 was an exact opposite. Kevin Durant got off to a hot start finishing with 31 points on 11-of-15 shooting, and an easy OKC win 95-79.

The Mavericks are one loss away from becoming the fifth defending champion in NBA history to fail to win a playoff game the following season. The 2006-07 Heat are the only defending champs to be swept in the first round under the current best-of-seven format. THUNDER lead series 3-0.

NO NBA TEAM HAS EVER COME BACK FROM A 3-0 DEFICIT.

With a weekend full of emotions the Playoffs rolled into Monday with three games on the bill. Up first was the overly-hyped Heat-Knicks which followed most of the script from the first game. LeBron containing Melo, while the rest of the Knicks struggle to score, especially Amar’e Stoudemire. Amar’e has had a tumultuous season; the lost of his brother led to a tattoo tear and cornrows from 20 years ago. Following the 104-94 Heat win, Amar’e decided to take his rage out on a fire extinguisher, and the extinguisher won, lacerating Stoudemire’s hand leading to stiches and locker room floors covered in blood. This Knicks season has been a New York Times best seller in the making. Knicks know head back to NY without Amar’e and still no wins in the Playoffs since 01′, but Game 3 has the potential to be the game where Melo goes for 50. HEAT lead series 2-0.

In Game 2, the Indiana Pacers made up for 2-20 shooting from deep, with plan, and simple hustle. The Pacers outscored the Magic 30-13 in the third leading to a 93-78 victory. Series is tied 1-1. 

Oklahoma City, and Dallas should be forced to play a best out of 20 games. After Kevin Durant stole Game 1 with a buzzer beater, Game 2 came down to two Jason Terry deep shot’s, but ending with a narrow Thunder win 102-99. For the 28th time this season, Russell Westbrook took more shots than Kevin Durant and, perhaps surprisingly, the Thunder are 23-5 when that happens. Westbrook ended with 29 points, Durant added 26 on 5 of 17 shooting. Mavs head coach Rick Carlisle decided to vent during the postgame interview about the physicality of the series; He was talking to you Kendrick Perkins.

“It’s playoff basketball. It’s physical. We don’t like the cheap shots when they give them, and they don’t like them if we give them. That’s the nature of competition,” Carlisle said. “I love hard-played, clean, competitive playoff series. You throw the ball up and may the best team win.

“The dirty (expletive) has got to stop. We don’t want anybody getting hurt out there, either way.” THUNDER lead series 2-0.

REUTERS/Jim Young

The first day of the 2011-12′ NBA Playoffs started dreadful early on, but ended in an exceptional way. In the first game of the day the Chicago Bulls made easy work of the Philadelphia 76ers winning 103-91. Then the 1:10 mark of the 4th quarter, and if you don’t know what happens next then you have no business on this website. Injuries happen all the time, but to a player like Derrick Rose, in Game 1, at home, in a blowout…Why Basketball God’s? Why?

The injury virus immediately flew to Miami where the Heat put on one of the greatest defensive performances in NBA history holding the Knicks to 36% shooting, and forcing 24 turnovers. Similar to the Bulls-Sixers game, the outcome had been decided but as fate would have it left knees were ready to give out, and down went Knicks rookie Iman Shumpert with a torn ACL. The injury bug ruined what was a utterly ridiculous game from LeBron James. LeBron joined Allen Iverson as the only player to single-handedly outscore the opposing starters combined, in a playoff game, since the NBA began tracking starters in the 1970-71 season. Iverson scored 52 points on May 16, 2001 against the Raptors.

The two night games Pacers-Magic and Thunder-Mavs were without injuries and far from blowouts.

Indiana unable to buy a bucket down the stretch lose the game and h0me-court advantage in a 81-77 Magic win. Pacers center Roy Hibbert had a block party with 9 denials, but the Magic went small and stole Game 1, much to the delight of Dwight Howard.

Now we knew Thunder Mavs would be astounding, and it lived up to its billing. The Mavs advanced to the Finals after beating the Thunder last year, but a last second prayer by the scoring champ Kevin Durant in Game 1, helped the Thunder squeak by 99-98. The Thunder trailed by seven with 2 1/2 minutes left before rallying to victory. Dirk had 25 and Jason Terry had 20 for Dallas.

The season that began on Christmas day and crammed 66 games down our throats (pause) in the process has finally came to an end. Even in a shortened season there were many exceptional moments, and in this years NBA playoffs there isn’t one series that you want to miss. Okay maybe you can skip the Pacers sweeping the Howard-less Magic. Here is what to watch for in each of the first round match-ups.

(1) Chicago Bulls vs. (8) Philadelphia 76ers

Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau consistent nagging of defense, defense, defense, and the unusual amount of BIGS the Bulls have, has made the loss of Derrick Rose throughout the season barely noticeable. Of course this is the year where Derrick Rose figures it all out, and carries his team to the Finals and Scottie Pippen gets to photobomb everyone in the locker room when they celebrate. At least thats how Bulls fans would love for it to go, but the Basketball Gods never make it easy. Unfortunately for the 76ers, Muppet-Evan Turner decided to throw a quick jab Chicago’s way stating that the Sizers lost to the Knicks (which helped the Sixers avoid the Heat in the 1st Round) earlier this week was “Dodging the better team.” Not like the Bulls needed any more motivation but if anything can give Rip Hamilton reason to sharpen his fingernails then watch out.

Philadelphia has been one of my favorite teams to watch this season, and I will enjoy watching them put up a fun-filled effort, but the upset is going to take a miracle, or an absentee Derrick Rose. BULLS in 5

(2) Miami Heat vs. (7) New York Knicks

REUTERS/Jessica Rinaldi (UNITED STATES)

Gonna leave  @knicks247 to this one. Carmelo Anthony and LeBron James meeting in the NBA Playoffs for the first time and 10 years since their high school battles…swoon.

(3) Indiana Pacers vs. (6) Orlando Magic

Regardless of Dwight Howard’s back condition, the Magic wanted no part of the NBA Playoffs after the trade deadline had passed and “chocolate shoulders” was still around. This is the coming out party for the Indiana Pacers, and ultimately a first-round bye. PACERS in 4

(4) Boston Celtics vs. (5) Atlanta Hawks

We have been overtly bias of the Celtics, mainly due to the old adage of “respecting your elders”, and this by all accounts could be the last hurrah of Garnett, Pierce, and Allen. Everyone thought last year’s Playoff defeat by the Heat was the last time we would seee the Big 3 but due to the purchase of a hot tub time machine the Celtics(Spurs) are poised for yet another Finals run.  The Big 3, are now of course the Big 4 with Rajon Rondo reaching Superstar-Status. There is also Avery Bradley who should make Joe Johnson’s bones uneasy. Rondo has a knack for exceptional play when games are televised, and with every Playoff game being televised, look for Rondo to win at least 2 games by just diving for the ball a bunch of times.

Once again the Atlanta Hawks are back in the Playoffs!! The Atlanta Hawks are the NBA version of Temazepam. CELTICS in 6

 WESTERN CONFERENCE

The Western Conference, where teams over .500 miss the Playoffs (Rockets, Suns).

MAY METTA WORLD PEACE ELBOW HAVE MERCY ON US ALL! 

(1) San Antonio Spurs vs. (8) Utah Jazz

This is ridiculous. How can the Spurs be the best team in the Western Conference again. Tim, Tony, Manu, and the bunch(Blair, Neal, Splitter, Leonard, Bonner, Jackson) will make easy work of the Utah Jazz. The mighty Spurs will have a tough time in the next round regardless of the team (Clippers, Grizzlies). SPURS in 4

(2) Oklahoma City Thunder vs. (7) Dallas Mavericks

The rematch of last year’s Western Conference Finals, Dirk and Durant attempt to set indoor shooting records as Dallas prays that Oklahoma City doesn’t realize Tyson Chandler is gone. Oklahoma City will have to possibly play the Mavs, Lakers, and Spurs to get to the Finals. Can you imagine the Lakers-Thunder matchup? THUNDER in 6

(3) Los Angeles Lakers vs. (6) Denver Nuggets

I’m sick of seeing these two teams play. Same result every time…Javale McGee vs. Andrew Bynum will be entertaining. Same result every time. LAKERS in 6

(4) Memphis Grizzlies vs. (5) Los Angeles Clippers

The Clippers are the 5th seed in the Western Conference. Well done NBA, amazing how transformed that team is thanks to your decision making. By amazing I’m referring to the POINT GOD himself Chris Paul, who deserves to be the MVP this year but won’t get it.  Chris Paul and the Yellow Hulk, Blake Griffin will be going up against a Memphis team that knew it would be back. Didn’t think Zach Randolph would be back though. GRIZZLIES in 7

Once a little-known D-Leaguer, Lin is now the main attraction in the country’s biggest market. The humble 23-year-old has taken the NBA by storm the past week, and in the process, he’s given the New York Knicks something to believe in.

“What he’s doing is amazing,” Knicks coach Mike D’Antoni said after his team’s fourth straight win. “He answered a lot of questions tonight.”

On Thursday night Kobe had no idea who Lin was, on Friday he changed his tune. “Players don’t usually come out of nowhere,” Bryant, who scored 34 points on 11-of-29 shooting, said after the game. “If you go back and take a look, his skill level was probably there from the beginning, but no one ever noticed. … It’s a great story. It’s a testament to perseverance and hard work. I am sure he has put in a great deal of work to always have that belief in himself, now he has the opportunity to show it.”

The Lin Story will one day be a movie played by an actor horrible at basketball, but for now here is how the story goes. After going undrafted out of Harvard, Lin signed on with his hometown Golden State Warriors, where he played sparingly in a reserve role last season.

The Warriors waived him Dec. 9, and the Houston Rockets quickly scooped him up, but the Rockets let him go before the season even started.

The Knicks grabbed him off waivers Dec. 27, but after struggling to find a place for Lin in the rotation, the Knicks sent him down to the D-League. In his only game with the Erie BayHawks, Lin posted a triple-double, scoring 28 points to go with 12 assists and 11 rebounds — certainly enough to warrant a recall to the NBA, but not yet enough to get him into the lineup.

Finally, last Saturday, he got his chance, and he made the most of it, scoring 25 points and dishing out seven assists in 36 minutes off the bench in a win over the Nets. His showing earned him his first NBA start Monday, and he responded with 28 points and eight assists in a win over Utah.

Tuesday night, Lin’s contract became guaranteed and on Wednesday, Lin outplayed John Wall, scoring 23 points to go with 10 assists in a win over the Wizards. Then Friday was the ultimate validation for a player who wondered whether he’d ever make it at the game’s highest level.

“The journey was very different,” Lin said. “Getting waived twice, going to the D-League four times, just fighting for a spot in any rotation, and being basically a 15th guy on a roster, that’s tough at times.”

Jeremy Lin has at least 20 points, 5 assists and has shot over 50 percent in each of his last 4 games. The only other player to have a streak that long this season is LeBron James, who has done it 3 times.

(AP Photo/Frank Franklin II)

*Sorry my tardiness on this extremely late  post*

Knicks fans have been waiting for this team to get into a groove this season after a tough start. Having won four in row and only one game behind Atlantic Division leading Sixers, the Knicks have discovered that playing good defense pays dividends. Carmelo Anthony continues to be clutch for the Knicks hitting two crucial foul shots to seal the win over the Sixers 85-79.

The Sixers came into Madison Square Garden as the hottest team in the NBA winning six in a row and claiming the top spot in the division. Coach Doug Collins has a young Philadelphia team playing with energy and a deep bench that can score with the best of them. The Sixers came into Wednesday night’s matchup with the Knicks having played back to back games and with the NBA’s third leading offense. The Knicks behind Iman Shumpert attacking defense held the Sixers to 40 percent shooting for the night. Tyson Chandler leadership on the boards and Iman energy on defense has the Knicks beginning to develop team chemistry.

Undoubtedly the Knicks offense goes as Melo’ and Amar’e go, but the lack of bench production has been cause for concern. The Knicks bench could only muster 3 points in the win against the Charlotte Bobcats but Coach Mike D’Antoni post game interview spurred some fire with the beleaguered bench. Led by former Kentucky center Josh Harrellson 13 points, included 3-for-5 behind the arc, the Knicks bench added 21 points to the tally. Carmelo’s 27 points lead the team in scoring and his 3 steals and 9 rebounds were impressive. STAT continued to struggle with his mid-range jumper but finished the game scoring 20 points, shooting 8-for-14, and grabbed 10 rebounds. The Knicks out-rebounded the Sixers 46/37 which continues to be an important factor in the recent win streak. But the Knicks had 20 turnovers that nearly cost them the game in the fourth quarter. In addition, Landry Fields continues to struggle shooting 2-for-4 for four points with three rebounds, three steals, two assists and three turnovers in 35-plus minutes. Coach D’Antoni should consider moving Billy Walker into the starting rotation until Landry gets it together. Next up for the Knicks hit the road to face the Memphis Grizzles on Thursday and Oklahoma City Thunder on Saturday, before coming home Monday to play Dwight Howard and the Magic.

The Knicks began the night aggressive in the paint with Tyson Chandler getting good passes for easy dunks and layups. The rest of the Knicks played well on the offensive side of the ball, but Amar’e continues to struggle with his jumper.

Rookie Iman Shumpert made an immediate impact after missing the last four games with a strained knee, hitting a jumper, grabs 2 boards and providing another point guard option for Coach D’Antoni. Another surprise for the Knicks continues to be the play of Billy Walker off the bench. Walker teamed up with Douglas and Shumpert to provide the Knicks with a good second team but the lack of team chemistry was apparent. Diaw went 7-for7 in the quarter and the Bobcats won the first quarter 30-26.

The Knicks are going to have to learn how to play with each other on both sides of the court before things turn around for this team. At times the Knicks look perfectly in sync, but undoubtedly resort to settling for quick outside shots that get them in a hole. Tyson Chandler who is the vocal leader of this defense needs someone to tell him what to do when Melo gets the ball, 99% of the time expect a shot. Chandler finished the game with six rebounds matching Melo’s effort on the glass. The Garden voiced their disapproval of the Knicks defense after the Bobcats went on a 9-0 run and left the Knicks looking weak going into the half. Iman Shumpert led the Knicks in scoring going into the tunnel with 12 at the half.

The third quarter saw the Knicks come out with more authority, asserting themselves on the defensive side of the court. Every time the Knicks cut the lead to single digits, the Bobcats behind shooting from Gerald Henderson, Boris Diaw and Byron Mullens kept the Knicks at bay. Carmelo did his best as usual to keep the Knicks in the game with 32 pts on 12-for-24 shooting, but the rest of the team provided no help. Bobcats rookie Kemba Walker in his first game in the Garden since turning pro, finishing with 7 points, five assists and two rebounds. Walker admitted to being excited returning to the floor that witnessed him carry the UConn Huskies to the Big East Tournament title with five wins in five days last March. For the Knicks the 4th quarter saw the game slip away behind poor team defense and hot shooting by the Bobcats. The disappearance of Josh Harrellson’s play and the lack of production from Landry Fields is something to keep an eye on as the Knicks lost their second straight home game. Up next for the Knicks is a game in D.C. against the Wizards. Lets hope Coach D’Antoni can get his troops to work together soon than later.

Nu Sef Jones

Follow me @knicks247

Coach D’Antoni started his usual lineup of PG Douglas, SG Fields, SF Anthony, PF Stoudemire, C Chandler, while new Lakers coach Mike Brown without center Andrew Bynum went with PG Fisher, SG Bryant, SF Ebanks, PF McRoberts, and at C Gasol. The game at the Staples Center in Los Angeles marked the Knicks first back-to-back game of the new season and the second in a three game West Coast road trip. Pau Gasol got the Lakers off to good start while Knicks superstar Carmelo shook off the rust on his jump-shot early and didn’t look back. Knicks did get to the free-throw line early going 8-for-8 at the charity stripe which gave them a 19-14 lead with 5:52 remaining in the 1st quarter. Melo quick start with 7 points had the offensive clicking early, but dumb fouls continue to plague the Mike Woodson defense. At the end of the 1st quarter, the Lakers led 31-24, with the Knicks going to the charity strip 12 times, connecting on 11. Melo, Chandler and Amar’e Stoudamire combined for 21 points.

One of the most puzzling stories on offense in the young season is the propensity for Amar’e to settle for outside jumpers and lack of back to the rim scoring. So far it seems the twenty pounds of additional muscle put on in the offseason by “STAT” will be used to shoot 18 foot jumpers instead of attacking the rim. On the few occasions that STAT did force the action around the paint he was successful in forcing fouls and getting easy dunks. The return of veteran point guard Baron Davis will hopefully right Amar’e horrible shot selection in which he shot 4-for-17 finishing with 15 points for the night. The 2nd quarter exposed a second team for the Knicks that lacks in the ability to score and defend the paint. Josh Harrelson looks slightly more confident and newly acquired Steve Novak provided some perimeter scoring but Coach D’Antoni will be happy to get Iman Shumpert and Jared Jefferies back into the rotation sooner than later. The Knicks struggled to contain Kobe Bryant and were overpowered by a resurgent Metta World Peace and at the half trailed the Lakers 63-51. The Knicks offense was pure isolation plays and could not get good shots which were reflected in their dismal 33% shooting for the half. The Lakers offense clicked on all cylinders ending the half shooting 72%.

It is easy for Knicks fans to blame the continued offensive struggles on Coach D’Antoni but the real issue is giving the Big 3 time to get familiar with each others style of play. Amar’e has never played with a center like Tyson Chandler while Melo continues to play the role he knows best, scorer. What normally is developed over the course of a season is not to be expected within the first 3 games. Knicks fans need to step back from the edge and understand this is going to be a process that at times will be painful but in the end the goal remains to clinch the third of forth seed in the Eastern Conference playoffs. Knicksnation should take note of the early struggles of another “Big 3” down in Miami last season as they learned how to bring the best out of each others talents.

The 2nd half of basketball from Los Angeles saw a repeat of the breakdown in scoring and foul trouble that proved to be disastrous. There were brief moments were Amar’e reminded us of his dominance in the paint but those were erased after picking up a mindless technical foul. Rebounding is another issue for the Knicks whose total of 32, two of which were STAT’s, displayed a lack in effort cleaning the glass. Kobe Bryant got to work earning his pay by scoring 10 in the quarter, finishing with a game high 28. The 4th quarter saw the Knicks get off to a terrible 0-for-7 and Amar’e continued to struggle to find the bottom of the net. The Lakers steadily increased their lead to a 16 pt advantage at the 4:57 mark that sealed the win. The Knicks could only muster 10 total pts for the quarter as the Knicks lost their second in a row. The team from New York ends 2011 in Sacramento as they hope to close out their West Coast swing with a victory against the (1-2) Kings. Patience is a virtue but in a town that is quick to judge its sports teams, it will be hard for Knicks fans to accept losing as a part of the growth process. Hang in there guys and gals, we have not yet begun to fight..

NU Sef Jones

Follow me @knicks247

ATLANTA HAWKS

We resolve to get to the bottom of why we gave Joe Johnson so much damn money. He does lead us in points, but will we make it deep in the playoffs….of course not. ( same as last years resolution)

BOSTON CELTICS

We the Boston Celtics resolve to let Rondo shoot nothing but threes for an entire game, just to see what happens….

CHARLOTTE BOBCATS

I, Paul Silas resolve to survive the entire season.

CHICAGO BULLS

I, Derrick Rose resolve to continue dominating basketball, postgame interviews  and my acne.

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

We resolve to continue to be a horrible team until Dan Gilbert can finally complete the cloning of LeBron James, let the clone grow to 18 years of age, then draft him with the #1 pick in the 2030 Draft.

DALLAS MAVERICKS

I, Lamar Odom will drive to Galveston Beach each off day so I can look at the ocean and remember what once was.

DETROIT PISTONS

We the Pistons resolve to find some food for Austin Daye, and to have Ben Gordons arms chopped off!

DENVER NUGGETS

We the Nuggets resolve to be extremely grateful that Coach Karl is back and healthy!

GOLDEN ST. WARRIORS

I, Coach Mark Jackson resolve to stop yelling “Hands down, man down” to everyone on the team, every possession.

HOUSTON ROCKETS

We the Houston Rockets resolve to continue pitting Chase Budinger, and Chandler Parsons against each other until they are forced to fight to the death.

INDIANA PACERS

We resolve to let Physcho T run into the stands at least once this season.

L.A. CLIPPERS

We resolve to keep our racist ass owner away from Chris Paul, and keep Chris thinking that Frankie Muniz is indeed the owner of the team.

L.A. LAKERS

We resolve to plant testosterone tablets in Pau Gasol’s drinks throughout the season.

MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES

We resolve to get Tony Allen as far away from our team as possible.

MIAMI HEAT

We resolve to win the Finals, not for LeBron but for original man: Juwan Howard.

MILWAUKEE BUCKS

We resolve to get to the bottom of signing of Mike Dunleavy Jr.!

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

I, Kevin Love resolve to rebound every ball, on every shot, from every basketball game in the world.

NEW JERSEY NETS

We resolve to play in Brooklyn until Brooklyn realizes that the Nets play in Brooklyn, then we haul ass to Russia! #NYETS

NEW ORLEANS HORNETS

We the NBA speak for the Hornets, and the Hornets have nothing to say!

NEW YORK KNICKS

I, Carmelo Anthony resolve to remember that I, Carmelo am the only option, and I need to shoot every single time!

OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

We resolve to do whatever we can to keep Russell Westbrook from becoming Stephon Marbury and eventually eating Vaseline on Twitter!

ORLANDO MAGIC

I, Dwight Howard resolve to ask, demand, then say pretty please for a trade.

PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

We resolve to hire Michael Vick as soon as the NFL season is over. He will suit up and be in the starting lineup, just for the player introductions, but he wont play any minutes.

PHOENIX SUNS

I, Steve Nash resolve to never leave the Suns, and continue playing until they can find a point guard better then I.

PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS

We resolve to burn some Sage in the Rose Garden, because our team is definitely cursed!

SACRAMENTO KINGS

We resolve to remind all those fans that fought to keep the team in Sacramento that the team is still in Sacramento

SAN ANTONIO SPURS

We resolve to casually ignore the age of our Big 3, but encourage fans to purchase DeJuan Blair Bears from the gift shop

TORONTO RAPTORS

We resolve to call the NBA everyday, and send flowers so that they remember there is a team in Toronto.

UTAH JAZZ

We resolve to remind the Jazz players that the sign that said “Team of Misfit Players” was not funny.

WASHINGTON WIZARDS

We resolve to let John Wall do whatever he wants to and to continue letting Glbert Arenas in the locker room so he can shit in Rashard Lewis’s shoes.