ATLANTA HAWKS

We resolve to get to the bottom of why we gave Joe Johnson so much damn money. He does lead us in points, but will we make it deep in the playoffs….of course not. ( same as last years resolution)

BOSTON CELTICS

We the Boston Celtics resolve to let Rondo shoot nothing but threes for an entire game, just to see what happens….

CHARLOTTE BOBCATS

I, Paul Silas resolve to survive the entire season.

CHICAGO BULLS

I, Derrick Rose resolve to continue dominating basketball, postgame interviews  and my acne.

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

We resolve to continue to be a horrible team until Dan Gilbert can finally complete the cloning of LeBron James, let the clone grow to 18 years of age, then draft him with the #1 pick in the 2030 Draft.

DALLAS MAVERICKS

I, Lamar Odom will drive to Galveston Beach each off day so I can look at the ocean and remember what once was.

DETROIT PISTONS

We the Pistons resolve to find some food for Austin Daye, and to have Ben Gordons arms chopped off!

DENVER NUGGETS

We the Nuggets resolve to be extremely grateful that Coach Karl is back and healthy!

GOLDEN ST. WARRIORS

I, Coach Mark Jackson resolve to stop yelling “Hands down, man down” to everyone on the team, every possession.

HOUSTON ROCKETS

We the Houston Rockets resolve to continue pitting Chase Budinger, and Chandler Parsons against each other until they are forced to fight to the death.

INDIANA PACERS

We resolve to let Physcho T run into the stands at least once this season.

L.A. CLIPPERS

We resolve to keep our racist ass owner away from Chris Paul, and keep Chris thinking that Frankie Muniz is indeed the owner of the team.

L.A. LAKERS

We resolve to plant testosterone tablets in Pau Gasol’s drinks throughout the season.

MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES

We resolve to get Tony Allen as far away from our team as possible.

MIAMI HEAT

We resolve to win the Finals, not for LeBron but for original man: Juwan Howard.

MILWAUKEE BUCKS

We resolve to get to the bottom of signing of Mike Dunleavy Jr.!

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

I, Kevin Love resolve to rebound every ball, on every shot, from every basketball game in the world.

NEW JERSEY NETS

We resolve to play in Brooklyn until Brooklyn realizes that the Nets play in Brooklyn, then we haul ass to Russia! #NYETS

NEW ORLEANS HORNETS

We the NBA speak for the Hornets, and the Hornets have nothing to say!

NEW YORK KNICKS

I, Carmelo Anthony resolve to remember that I, Carmelo am the only option, and I need to shoot every single time!

OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

We resolve to do whatever we can to keep Russell Westbrook from becoming Stephon Marbury and eventually eating Vaseline on Twitter!

ORLANDO MAGIC

I, Dwight Howard resolve to ask, demand, then say pretty please for a trade.

PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

We resolve to hire Michael Vick as soon as the NFL season is over. He will suit up and be in the starting lineup, just for the player introductions, but he wont play any minutes.

PHOENIX SUNS

I, Steve Nash resolve to never leave the Suns, and continue playing until they can find a point guard better then I.

PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS

We resolve to burn some Sage in the Rose Garden, because our team is definitely cursed!

SACRAMENTO KINGS

We resolve to remind all those fans that fought to keep the team in Sacramento that the team is still in Sacramento

SAN ANTONIO SPURS

We resolve to casually ignore the age of our Big 3, but encourage fans to purchase DeJuan Blair Bears from the gift shop

TORONTO RAPTORS

We resolve to call the NBA everyday, and send flowers so that they remember there is a team in Toronto.

UTAH JAZZ

We resolve to remind the Jazz players that the sign that said “Team of Misfit Players” was not funny.

WASHINGTON WIZARDS

We resolve to let John Wall do whatever he wants to and to continue letting Glbert Arenas in the locker room so he can shit in Rashard Lewis’s shoes.

(Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

If you were to tell me at the start of the season that the 2-time defending champs, the Los Angeles Lakers would be down 3 games to nothing to the Dallas Mavericks in the Western Conference Semifinals, I would have been convinced you knew nothing about  basketball. As unbelievable as that sounds it is currently live and in living color and extremely unprecedented.

You knew after watching the Lakers first round matchup with the Hornets that something wasn’t right, but you knew, like all the times before, they would find a way to better their opponent. Dallas is notorious for folding under pressure and coming into Game 3, leading 2-0, many still believed they wouldn’t even win the series. On Friday night the Mavericks put to bed any notion that they aren’t capable of being champions, by once again finishing better then the champs, leading to a 98-92 victory and a win away from the Western Conference Finals.

The Mavericks pulled this game out by scoring 32 points in the fourth quarter, the most by either team in any period this series. The Mavs go-to-guy Dirk Nowitzki scored 32 points, making 12 of 19 shots, and dropping 4 of 5 from beyond the arc. Seemingly unstoppable the lakers had no answer for Dirk. Jason Terry scored 23 points, including multiple daggers down the stretch.

“Just about everything that happened down the stretch was a direct result of him either scoring the ball or making a play to get somebody a shot, or make a pass for an assist for a 3 or a 2 or whatever it was,” Dallas coach Rick Carlisle said.

Peja Stojakovic scored 11 of his 15 in the final quarter.  Jason Kidd added 11 points and nine dimes.

(AP Photo/Tony Gutierrez)

Kobe Bryant finished with 17 points, on a night he chose to be more passive. The Lakers without Ron Artest started lamar Odom in his place. The trio of Odom, Gasol and Bynum had only been on the court together a total of 2 minutes, 19 seconds all season.  After complaining about “team trust issues” Andrew Bynum lead all Lakers with 21 points and 10 boards.

If the Lakers fans need to blame anyone Pau Gasol continues to draw a huge bulls-eye on his chest. Pau finished with 12 points on 5-13 shooting and 8 boards.

*The Lakers outscored the Mavs in the paint 56-20, but Los Angeles made 3 three pointers while Dallas made 12.

“I don’t know, I might be sick in the head or crazy or thrown off or something like that because I still think we’re going to win this series,” Bryant said  “I might be nuts. … Let’s win on Sunday, go back home and see if they can win in L.A.”

No NBA team has ever won a series when trailing 3-0, as the trailing team has gone 0-98 in those situations.

Game 4 Sunday: at Mavs, 2:30 (ABC / 103.3 FM) / Mavs lead series 3-0

Photo by Harry How/Getty Images

The Los Angeles Lakers lead by 16 points late in the third quarter, but were out-clutched for the first time in a long time. The Mavs trailed by seven points entering the fourth quarter Monday, but then outscored the Lakers by nine to steal the win, 96-94.

Dirk Nowitzki scored 28 points, including 11 in the 4th quarter, and 14 boards. The Lakers had a chance to pick their match-up against Dirk Nowitzki nursing a 1-point lead with 20 seconds remaining, and elected to go with Pau Gasol. Prior to the play, Nowitzki was 5-for-5 against Gasol, 5-for-11 against Lamar Odom and 1-for-6 against all other Lakers. Gasol fouled Nowitzki on the inbounds, sending him to the line and giving the Mavs a lead they would not relinquish.

Pau will receive the majority of the blame for the loss. He committed the foul on Dirk and lost the ball to Jason Kidd on the next play with less then 20 seconds on the clock. Pau Gasoldid finish with 15 points, 11 boards and seven dimes, so he played well offensively. Kobe Bryant was in shooting machine mode finishing with 36 points on 14 of 36 shooting. He had no dimes.

Bryant had the 81st 30-point game of his playoff career, trailing only Michael Jordan (109) in NBA history. Bryant has scored in double figures in 156 straight postseason games.

Jason Terry scored 13 of his 15 points in the first half to lead the Mavs’ reserves, who outscored Los Angeles’ bench 40-25.

The Lakers looked out of sorts late in Game 1, and the ability of the Mavs to deny Andrew Bynum was key to their win. “I know we got that crazy last minute there, but we’ve got to come out in the second half and play better,” said Andrew Bynum, who managed eight points and five boards for Los Angeles. “We didn’t lose it at the end. We lost it in the third quarter.”

Game 2 is Wednesday at 9:30 on TNT/ Mavs lead series 1-0

The Lakers are the cream of the crop, and have been playing entitled basketball throughout the last two years. The New Orleans Hornets gave the Lakers a nice slap to the face, and may have woken them up a bit. Dallas fought off a tough Blazers squad in six games, but both teams will need to play at higher level in order to make it to the Conference Finals.

The Mavs lost of Caron Butler to injury early in the season hurts the Mavs in the defending Kobe Bryant department, and Andrew Bynum enjoys posting up Tyson Chandler averaging 16.7 points on 70.4 percent shooting with 11.7 boards against Dallas. Chandler averaged 5.7 points and 8.7 boards on 46.2 percent shooting against the Lakers.

Both of the Mavs regular season losses to the Lakers were by an average of 15.5 points per game. Dallas is 16-0 in regular season and playoffs when Dirk attempts at least 10+ free throws. First team to criticize the refs wins!

Game 1: Mon., May 2, at Staples Center, 7:30 p.m. Pacific (TNT)

Game 2: Wed., May 4, at Staples Center, 7:30 p.m. Pacific (TNT)

Game 3: Fri., May 6, at Dallas, 6:30 p.m. Pacific (ESPN)

Game 4: Sun., May 8, at Dallas, 12:30 p.m. Pacific (ABC)

Game 5 (if necessary): Tue., May 10, at Staples Center, TBD (TNT)

Game 6 (if necessary): Thurs., May 12, at Dallas, TBD (ESPN)

Game 7 (if necessary): Sun., May 15, at Staples Center, 12:30 p.m. Pacific (ABC)

Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

Following the tremendous performance of Derrick Rose, and Dwight Howard on day one of the Playoffs, another All-Star showcased his skills on Sunday in Los Angeles no named Kobe.

Chris Paul had 33 points, 14 dimes, 4 steals, and seven boards, leading his team down the stretch to a 109-100 victory. Paul became the 4th player in the last 20 seasons to register at least 33 points and 14 assists in a playoff game. Paul’s points and assists accounted for 63 of the Hornets’ 109 points (57.8 percent). Paul scored 17 points in the fourth quarter and led a decisive 8-0 run after the Lakers trimmed their lead to four points. Many of those possessions came when the Lakers switched on defense leaving Pau Gasol against Paul, and thats never a good thing.

Carl Landry scored 17 points and Jarrett Jack added 15 for the Hornets, who overcame Los Angeles’ major size advantage with scrappy defense and a disciplined offensive approach that led to just three turnovers, tying an NBA playoff record. The Lakers had 6 points off turnovers while the Hornets had 17 points off of 13 Lakers turnovers.

Kobe Bryant scored 34 points, his 79th career 30-point game in the playoffs. He trails Michael Jordan by 30 for the most such games in NBA history. Kobe was brilliant, as always but got little help. Lamar Odom had 10 points and 1 board in 31 minutes of play, while Bynum contributed 13 points and nine boards, but wasnt strong defensively(knee on the mind). The Lakers fans will blame this lost on Gasol, who struggled to eight points — just two more than his season low — on 2-for-9 shooting with just six boards.

Aaron Gray had a season-high 12 points for New Orleans, but was helped off the court by teammates with 1:07 to play after Gasol accidentally stepped on his right foot while fighting for a rebound. Hornets coach Monty Williams said Gray has a mildly sprained ankle.

Since playoffs expanded to 16 teams in 1983-84, this is the first time a conference has seen its 1 and 2 seeds both lose their first games in same postseason. Also, Phil Jackson had never lost a First Round, Game 1 at home in the Playoffs till Sunday.

Game 2 at L.A. Lakers, 10:30 p.m. ET, TNT

#1. San Antonio Spurs vs. #8 Memphis Grizzlies

The Spurs  shot at the gate, surprising everyone outside of San Antonio en route to the best record in the West. The Grizzlies suffered a huge setback with the loss of Rudy gay for the Playoffs. The two headed defensive monster of Shane battier and Tony Allen were key reasons the Grizzlies were able to hold on to the bottom spot.

The key matchup of the series is Tim Duncan-Zach Randolph. Tim Duncan is no longer the offensive focal point and averaged a career-low 13.4 points, but is still effective enough to lure double teams. Memphis scored a league-high 51.6 points in the post and its interior size of Zach Randolph and Marc Gasol should pose problems for San Antonio. The Spurs are on a mission, but the Grizzlies have been playing great ball down the stretch. This series has the capabilities to go the distance.

Spurs in 6

#2 Los Angeles Lakers vs. #7 New Orleans Hornets

The Lakers earned the privilege to play the David West-less Hornets in the first round. If the Lakers don’t sweep the Hornets, prepare for panic out of Los Angeles. The Lakers swept the Hornets, 4-0, in the regular season.

Lakers in 4

#3 Dallas Mavericks vs. #6 Portland Trail Blazers

*The Best First Round Matchup* The loss of Caron Butler dealt a heavy blow to the Mavs. The toughest player taken from your team makes deep Playoff runs next to impossible. Despite nearly a decade’s worth of regular-season success, Dallas has advanced only once to the finals.

The Mavericks draw a tough first-round matchup in Portland, which benefited after a midseason trade by obtaining Gerald Wallace. Brandon Roy is somewhat back from injury, but the team now revolves around LaMarcus Aldridge (21.8 points, 8.8 rebounds), who is a native of Dallas. The teams split their regular-season games with each winning twice at home.

Portland in 6

#4 Oklahoma City Thunder vs. #5 Denver Nuggets

The most intriguing first-round matchups between the benefactors of deadline deals. The Thunder may pose the largest obstacle to the Lakers of escaping the Western Conference a fourth straight year. Denver hasn’t lost a step after dealing Chauncey Billups and Carmelo Anthony to New York. Denver is similar to a college team complete with two ex-North Carolina Tar Heels in Raymond Felton and Ty Lawson.

Kevin Durant remains the best basketball player not named Kobe, or LeBron. The addition of Kendrick Perkins adds a touch of toughness the Thunder have yet to achieve. Oklahoma won the season series, 3-1, including taking two games after the trading deadline.

Thunder in 6

Upset with his play Kobe decided to head back out to the floor at 10:47 p.m., not taking his last shot until just past midnight. He took hundreds of shots—3-pointers, post-ups, wing jumpers, corner jumpers, free throws, in front of the media, but failed to work on passing.

According to Kelly Dywer,  Kobe didn’t exactly have to do this in front of the assembled media. There is regulation sized and accessible practice court that the arena that Kobe knows full well about, though it wouldn’t provide him the opportunity to take practice shots in front of dozens of reporters flashing cell phone cameras.

“It’s my job” Kobe said to reporters asking why he was working on his jumper.

In order to get another crack at the Heat the Lakers have to hope that they both make the Finals. There is always next season, but the Lakers will be older, and the Heat will be wiser.

The problem for the Lakers was not Kobe’s jumper during the game, but his distrust in his teammates and their jumpers.  Kobe’s achilles heel his entire career has been his willingness to trust others offensively. Kobe has 315 dimes on the season, the lowest in his career since the 98-99 season.

Here’s a video of Kobe working on his jumper with Miami ball boys that I pray got paid overtime.

Per the Press Release: “Legendary Los Angeles Lakers’ shooting guard Kobe Bryant is set to become the first athlete to have a hand and footprint ceremony at the world renowned Grauman’s Chinese Theater on February 19, 2011.

The ceremony will take place during the City of Los Angeles’ hosting of the NBA All Star Weekend festivities and will be followed later that evening with a lavish star studded gala event for Bryant, 1,200 VIP guests and select members of the public.

‘To be a part of such elite company is a tremendous honor. I’m proud to be the first athlete to be recognized,’ said Bryant. Jeru Tillman of Southfield Village Entertainment stated, ‘Today’s athletes are among the best known and most talented entertainers in the world. We are pleased Kobe will be honored for the many years of enjoyment he has given us on the basketball court.’”

VIA

(AP Photo/Jae C. Hong)

When you are down 32 at the half to the Lakers in Los Angeles and 3 of your starters are hut, its best you remain in the locker room and forfeit the remainder because it will only get worse.

The Los Angeles Lakers molly-whopped the Cleveland Cavaliers while sending them to their 11th straight loss, rolling to a 112-57 victory on Tuesday night in their best defensive performance in the shot clock era.

Ron Artest and Andrew Bynum each had 15 points, Kobe, Pau, Lamar, and Shannon Brown each had 13 points.

Kobe lead the team in dimes with 8. Thats how bad it was for Cleveland. But it got WORSE.

Shannon Brown hit a 3-pointer from just inside halfcourt to end the third quarter and give Los Angeles a 92-41 lead, the first time an NBA team has led by that many after three since Nov. 8, 2001, when Chicago was ahead of Minnesota.

Cleveland’s point total was a record low by a Lakers opponent. The Cavs shot 30 percent, were outscored 52-28 in the paint and committed 19 turnovers in losing for the 21st time in their last 22 games. They fell to 8-30 overall, 3-18 on the road and 1-5 against the Western Conference.

As if losing 112-57 wasn’t bad enough, Cavs ex-teammate and Decision maker LeBron James chose to provide his own opinion on why the Cavaliers lost so badly.

LeBron could have been referring to something he was watching on Basketball Wives. The tweet came during the game when it was about at it’s worse, and obviously LeBron hasn’t completely moved on.

Although twitter provides a place for opinions of all types to flow freely, it’s in bad taste for LeBron to associate the players on Cleveland’s roster with his anger towards Cavs owner Dan Gilbert. If God sees everything then LeBron’s tweet will definitely mess up his own karma.

With the start of a new year, teams make their own resolutions.  Here is a team by team look at those resolutions.

ATLANTA HAWKS

We resolve to get to the bottom of why we gave Joe Johnson so much damn money. He does lead us in points, but will we make it deep in the playoffs….of course not.

BOSTON CELTICS

We the Boston Celtics resolve to play at least one game with both O’Neal’s on the court at the same time. I, the Boston Celtics  fan resolve to relax and enjoy each game because if anyone gets injured the world will not end.

CHARLOTTE BOBCATS

I, Michael Jordan resolve to stop wearing all my rings on one necklace to every Bobcats meeting.

CHICAGO BULLS

We resolve to kept nurturing Derrick Rose, and to keep Carlos Boozer and his weird beard away from him.

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

We resolve to simply exist before the NBA goes through with contraction and makes us a NBDL team. I, the Cavs fan will save up and buy the Fathead of Daniel Gibson for no reason whatsoever.

DALLAS MAVERICKS

I, Rick Carlisle resolve to stop making faces like Jim Carrey, and to let jason Terry do whatever he wants in the 4th quarter.

DETROIT PISTONS

I, Tayshaun Prince resolve to ask Joe Dumars nicely if I can be traded, then pray its not to Toronto.

DENVER NUGGETS

We resolve to trade Carmelo to the highest bidder, then struggle until we draft anthoer Carmelo and repeat the same process.

GOLDEN ST. WARRIORS

We resolve to never sign a legitimate big man so we can never truly play defense.

HOUSTON ROCKETS

I, the Houston Rockets fan resolve to lower our expectations until Michael Jordan goes and plays baseball for two years.

INDIANA PACERS

We resolve to sleep through the rest of this year, and promptly wake up during the lottery selection this summer.

L.A. CLIPPERS

I, Donald Sterling resolve to continue being concerned about only money, and as long as Blake Griffin makes me money he stays….for cheap of course.

L.A. LAKERS

We resolve to work all year so we actually play a competitive game on Christmas. We also resolve to never let Kobe and Nike convince us that Lime green sneakers are cool.

MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES

We resolve to save our money, to pay for the shipping of all the equipment to our new home in Seattle.

MIAMI HEAT

I, Miami Heat fan resolve to show up to games on time, especially once the playoffs start. At least we will make it seem that basketball games are more fun then the beach, or clubs full of young hispanic women.

MILWAUKEE BUCKS

We resolve to continue doing whatever it was we did to beat the Lakers. *Brandon Jennings didn’t play

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

I, Kevin Love resolve to rebound every ball, on every shot, from every basketball game in the world.

NEW JERSEY NETS

We resolve to never put an ad across from Madison Square Garden again. Unless of course, if we get Carmelo Anthony then we get to play in the Garden.

NEW ORLEANS HORNETS

We the NBA speak for the Hornets, and the Hornets have nothing to say.

NEW YORK KNICKS

I, Spike Lee resolve to continue wearing clothes too big for me to games, and my Landry Fields jersey, even if he gets traded.

OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

We resolve to take out as many loans as possible to keep Russell Westbrook away from Los Angeles.

ORLANDO MAGIC

I, Dwight Howard will work on my three point shooting so I can fit in better with the team.

PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

We resolve to hire Michael Vick as soon as the NFL season is over. He will suit up and be in the starting lineup, just for the player introductions, but he wont play any minutes.

PHOENIX SUNS

I, Marcin Gortat, will continue to plead with my teammates to play defense, even if they speak another language.

PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS

I, Trail Blazers fan will take a class in physical therapy so I can be more hands on with the players.

SACRAMENTO KINGS

We, the Maloof Brothers resolve to finish construction on our secret basketball stadium in Las Vegas. We also must sit Tyreke Evans down and ask that he not hit 50 footers to win games and instead keep piling on the loses.

SAN ANTONIO SPURS

We resolve to casually ignore the age of our Big 3, but encourage fans to purchase DeJuan Blair Bears from the gift shop

TORONTO RAPTORS

We resolve to call the NBA everyday, and send flowers so that they remember there is a team in Toronto.

UTAH JAZZ

We resolve to continue research into age-defying potions that can make it possible for Jerry Sloan to coach the Jazz forever.

WASHINGTON WIZARDS

We resolve to finally change our name back to the Bullets, and once again lose out on front page reports to real bullets.