With the start of a new year, teams make their own resolutions.  Here is a team by team look at those resolutions.

ATLANTA HAWKS

We resolve to get to the bottom of why we gave Joe Johnson so much damn money. He does lead us in points, but will we make it deep in the playoffs….of course not.

BOSTON CELTICS

We the Boston Celtics resolve to play at least one game with both O’Neal’s on the court at the same time. I, the Boston Celtics  fan resolve to relax and enjoy each game because if anyone gets injured the world will not end.

CHARLOTTE BOBCATS

I, Michael Jordan resolve to stop wearing all my rings on one necklace to every Bobcats meeting.

CHICAGO BULLS

We resolve to kept nurturing Derrick Rose, and to keep Carlos Boozer and his weird beard away from him.

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

We resolve to simply exist before the NBA goes through with contraction and makes us a NBDL team. I, the Cavs fan will save up and buy the Fathead of Daniel Gibson for no reason whatsoever.

DALLAS MAVERICKS

I, Rick Carlisle resolve to stop making faces like Jim Carrey, and to let jason Terry do whatever he wants in the 4th quarter.

DETROIT PISTONS

I, Tayshaun Prince resolve to ask Joe Dumars nicely if I can be traded, then pray its not to Toronto.

DENVER NUGGETS

We resolve to trade Carmelo to the highest bidder, then struggle until we draft anthoer Carmelo and repeat the same process.

GOLDEN ST. WARRIORS

We resolve to never sign a legitimate big man so we can never truly play defense.

HOUSTON ROCKETS

I, the Houston Rockets fan resolve to lower our expectations until Michael Jordan goes and plays baseball for two years.

INDIANA PACERS

We resolve to sleep through the rest of this year, and promptly wake up during the lottery selection this summer.

L.A. CLIPPERS

I, Donald Sterling resolve to continue being concerned about only money, and as long as Blake Griffin makes me money he stays….for cheap of course.

L.A. LAKERS

We resolve to work all year so we actually play a competitive game on Christmas. We also resolve to never let Kobe and Nike convince us that Lime green sneakers are cool.

MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES

We resolve to save our money, to pay for the shipping of all the equipment to our new home in Seattle.

MIAMI HEAT

I, Miami Heat fan resolve to show up to games on time, especially once the playoffs start. At least we will make it seem that basketball games are more fun then the beach, or clubs full of young hispanic women.

MILWAUKEE BUCKS

We resolve to continue doing whatever it was we did to beat the Lakers. *Brandon Jennings didn’t play

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

I, Kevin Love resolve to rebound every ball, on every shot, from every basketball game in the world.

NEW JERSEY NETS

We resolve to never put an ad across from Madison Square Garden again. Unless of course, if we get Carmelo Anthony then we get to play in the Garden.

NEW ORLEANS HORNETS

We the NBA speak for the Hornets, and the Hornets have nothing to say.

NEW YORK KNICKS

I, Spike Lee resolve to continue wearing clothes too big for me to games, and my Landry Fields jersey, even if he gets traded.

OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

We resolve to take out as many loans as possible to keep Russell Westbrook away from Los Angeles.

ORLANDO MAGIC

I, Dwight Howard will work on my three point shooting so I can fit in better with the team.

PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

We resolve to hire Michael Vick as soon as the NFL season is over. He will suit up and be in the starting lineup, just for the player introductions, but he wont play any minutes.

PHOENIX SUNS

I, Marcin Gortat, will continue to plead with my teammates to play defense, even if they speak another language.

PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS

I, Trail Blazers fan will take a class in physical therapy so I can be more hands on with the players.

SACRAMENTO KINGS

We, the Maloof Brothers resolve to finish construction on our secret basketball stadium in Las Vegas. We also must sit Tyreke Evans down and ask that he not hit 50 footers to win games and instead keep piling on the loses.

SAN ANTONIO SPURS

We resolve to casually ignore the age of our Big 3, but encourage fans to purchase DeJuan Blair Bears from the gift shop

TORONTO RAPTORS

We resolve to call the NBA everyday, and send flowers so that they remember there is a team in Toronto.

UTAH JAZZ

We resolve to continue research into age-defying potions that can make it possible for Jerry Sloan to coach the Jazz forever.

WASHINGTON WIZARDS

We resolve to finally change our name back to the Bullets, and once again lose out on front page reports to real bullets.