ATLANTA HAWKS

We resolve to get to the bottom of why we gave Joe Johnson so much damn money. He does lead us in points, but will we make it deep in the playoffs….of course not. ( same as last years resolution)

BOSTON CELTICS

We the Boston Celtics resolve to let Rondo shoot nothing but threes for an entire game, just to see what happens….

CHARLOTTE BOBCATS

I, Paul Silas resolve to survive the entire season.

CHICAGO BULLS

I, Derrick Rose resolve to continue dominating basketball, postgame interviews  and my acne.

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

We resolve to continue to be a horrible team until Dan Gilbert can finally complete the cloning of LeBron James, let the clone grow to 18 years of age, then draft him with the #1 pick in the 2030 Draft.

DALLAS MAVERICKS

I, Lamar Odom will drive to Galveston Beach each off day so I can look at the ocean and remember what once was.

DETROIT PISTONS

We the Pistons resolve to find some food for Austin Daye, and to have Ben Gordons arms chopped off!

DENVER NUGGETS

We the Nuggets resolve to be extremely grateful that Coach Karl is back and healthy!

GOLDEN ST. WARRIORS

I, Coach Mark Jackson resolve to stop yelling “Hands down, man down” to everyone on the team, every possession.

HOUSTON ROCKETS

We the Houston Rockets resolve to continue pitting Chase Budinger, and Chandler Parsons against each other until they are forced to fight to the death.

INDIANA PACERS

We resolve to let Physcho T run into the stands at least once this season.

L.A. CLIPPERS

We resolve to keep our racist ass owner away from Chris Paul, and keep Chris thinking that Frankie Muniz is indeed the owner of the team.

L.A. LAKERS

We resolve to plant testosterone tablets in Pau Gasol’s drinks throughout the season.

MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES

We resolve to get Tony Allen as far away from our team as possible.

MIAMI HEAT

We resolve to win the Finals, not for LeBron but for original man: Juwan Howard.

MILWAUKEE BUCKS

We resolve to get to the bottom of signing of Mike Dunleavy Jr.!

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

I, Kevin Love resolve to rebound every ball, on every shot, from every basketball game in the world.

NEW JERSEY NETS

We resolve to play in Brooklyn until Brooklyn realizes that the Nets play in Brooklyn, then we haul ass to Russia! #NYETS

NEW ORLEANS HORNETS

We the NBA speak for the Hornets, and the Hornets have nothing to say!

NEW YORK KNICKS

I, Carmelo Anthony resolve to remember that I, Carmelo am the only option, and I need to shoot every single time!

OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER

We resolve to do whatever we can to keep Russell Westbrook from becoming Stephon Marbury and eventually eating Vaseline on Twitter!

ORLANDO MAGIC

I, Dwight Howard resolve to ask, demand, then say pretty please for a trade.

PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

We resolve to hire Michael Vick as soon as the NFL season is over. He will suit up and be in the starting lineup, just for the player introductions, but he wont play any minutes.

PHOENIX SUNS

I, Steve Nash resolve to never leave the Suns, and continue playing until they can find a point guard better then I.

PORTLAND TRAILBLAZERS

We resolve to burn some Sage in the Rose Garden, because our team is definitely cursed!

SACRAMENTO KINGS

We resolve to remind all those fans that fought to keep the team in Sacramento that the team is still in Sacramento

SAN ANTONIO SPURS

We resolve to casually ignore the age of our Big 3, but encourage fans to purchase DeJuan Blair Bears from the gift shop

TORONTO RAPTORS

We resolve to call the NBA everyday, and send flowers so that they remember there is a team in Toronto.

UTAH JAZZ

We resolve to remind the Jazz players that the sign that said “Team of Misfit Players” was not funny.

WASHINGTON WIZARDS

We resolve to let John Wall do whatever he wants to and to continue letting Glbert Arenas in the locker room so he can shit in Rashard Lewis’s shoes.

(AP Photo/Bill Kostroun)

The Knicks starters were Toney Douglas, Landry Fields, Carmelo Anthony, Amar’e Stoudemire and newly acquired Tyson Chandler. The Celtics without the services of All-Star Paul Pierce started Rajon Rondo, Ray Allen, Sasha Pavlovic, Kevin Garnett, and at Center Jermaine O’Neal. The Knicks used the 1st quarter to build a 34-23 lead behind 52% shooting. The PG matchup between Rondo and Douglass had Knicks fan fuming with Rondo driving to the rim with numerous uncontested layups.  Rondo finished with 31 points and 13 dimes.  Knicks rookie Iman Shumpert scored his first points in the NBA with a layup and was fouled for a three-point play. Unfortunately for the Knicks, Shumpert sprained his knee in the 3rd quarter and did not return to the game. Initial reports have Shumpert unavailable for 2 weeks, leaving the Knicks with Mike Bibby to back up Douglass.

The 2nd quarter began with Amar’e displaying his new 3 point shot which had the Garden crowd out of their seats. Douglass tried in vain to slow down Rondo who continued to murder the Knicks on easy fast break points and wide open jumpers. Douglass was effective on the offensive side of the court but failed to effectively control the tempo of the game. Brandon Bass who was acquired for “Big Baby” in a trade with the Orlando Magic, paid dividends controlling the boards and dunking 2nd shot attempts. The 2nd quarter ended with the Knicks up 62-52.

The refs lead by veteran Joey Crawford didn’t hesitate blowing the whistle issuing a technical foul to Amar’e early in the game and that theme continued throughout the 2nd half. Early in the 3rd quarter the Knicks struggled to find their offense and settled for isolation plays for Carmelo who left the game after picking up his fourth foul early in the quarter. The Celtics continued to expose the Knicks backcourt with a 14-2 run to tie the game at 69. The Knicks offense had a complete breakdown shooting 2 for 11 until Toney Douglass was able to stop the bleeding with a jumper. Adding injury to insult, Knicks backup forward Jared Jefferies left the game with a calf injury. Shumpert went down late in the third as it seemed Knicksnation worst nightmares were becoming reality. The Celtics dominated the 3rd quarter outscoring the Knicks 35-17 in period. At the end of 3 the Knicks trailed Boston 87-79.

Entering the 4th quarter the Knicks defensives woes seemed to get the best of them. A rejuvenated Kevin Garnett began to heat up from the outside hitting dagger jumpers while the Knicks struggled to score. But great players show up in big moments and the Knicks prayers were answered by Carmelo Anthony. A Tyson Chandler dunk on inbounds pass with 8:03 left in the game got the Knicks back on track with a thunderous applause from the crowd. After Carmelo tied the game with a 3 pointer from the wing, the game was tied at century mark. KG answered back with a jumper while Tyson Chandler tried in vain to play defense on the wily veteran. Like a heavyweight fight all eyes were on Melo’ when he took the ball to the rim and got fouled, making one of two free throws tying the game at 102 with 2 minutes left on the clock. After a missed jumper by Ray Allen the Knicks gave the ball to Carmelo who gave the Knicks their final points from the free throw line at 106. Celtics coach Doc Rivers who is known for his last minute heroics failed to get Ray Allen or Rondo the ball as Kevin Garnett took the last shot of the game and bricked the attempt. With no love lost between the two teams KG and Billy Walker got in a shoving match after the buzzer, no doubt the Atlantic Division rivals will be in a heated race throughout the season.

(AP Photo/Winslow Townson)

The Boston Celtics needed Kevin Garnett to shake off his dismal performances in the first two games, if they were to have a chance at finally winning one against the Miami Heat.

In Game 3 Saturday night, Garnett played years younger. He finished with 28 points and 18 boards, leading the Celtics to comeback win, 97-81.

Garnett had finished with 22 points and 14 boards in the first two games combined.

Paul Pierce finished with 27, and Ray Allen had 15. Pierce, Allen and Garnett scored the Celtics’ first 23 points.

Rajon Rondo played the 4th quarter with one arm after dislocating his left elbow in the third quarter. Rondo scored 6 points and dished out 11 dimes, scoring two baskets down the stretch with only one arm.

“He showed he’s a really tough young individual,” said Kevin Garnett, “I don’t know what he’s going to be like when he’s 35, but right now he’s playing pretty well.”

LeBron James had an off night and Chris Bosh was once again missing in action. Dwyane Wade had 23 points and seven dimes, and Joel Anthony continued to contribute off the bench, scoring 12 with 11 boards. James scored 15 points as he and Wade combined to make just 14 of 35 shots from the floor.

The Celtics shot 50% from the field and beyond the arc. Miami was 42% from the field and 21% from deep.(This is all the recap you need)
Game 4 is Monday in Boston 7pm on TNT/ Heat lead series 2-0

Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

In Game 1, of one the most anticipated Playoff match-ups in NBA Playoff history the Miami Heat flexed their muscles in their Eastern Conference semifinal series by beating the Boston Celtics 99-90 on Sunday.

Dwyane Wade averaged only 13.3 against the Celtics during the regular season, but dropped a solid 38 points on 14-21 shooting. James Jones set a Miami postseason record with 25 points off the bench. LeBron James finished with 22 points, 6 boards, 5 dimes, 2 steals, and 2 blocks.

Chris Bosh was a no-show with only 7 points on 3-10 shooting. This was Chris Bosh’s first time playing in the second round of the Playoffs, so he gets a pass.

Paul Pierce was ejected with 7 minutes left, after picking up two technicals in skirmishes with Wade and Jones within a span of 59 seconds. He finished with 19 points, but the absence of Kevin Garnett offensively, had a big effect. Garnett had 6 points and 8 boards.

The Celtics appeared rusty and did not play defense at their usual level, but Miami lead by an outstanding game from Dwyane Wade refused to relinquish home court advantage, and are 3 wins from finally getting pass the Celtics. Wade and LeBron have never beating the Celtics in the Playoffs.

Game 2, Tuesday, May 3, Miami (time and TV TBD)/ Heat lead series 1-0

The Celtics dominated the first three meetings between the teams during the regular season, but lost big in Miami in their final game. During this years Playoffs the Celtics have flashed their dominant defense and Rajon Rondo has proved to be a game changer when he is aggressive. Miami rotated their starters numerous times against the 76ers, an attempt to get anyone not named Bosh, Bron, or Wade involved. Regardless of how the bench played Miami counted on their Big 3 for everything.

The Celtics were able to sweep the injury-riddled Knicks, but the Heat will go out as easy.

Here are a few questions we have for the series.

1. How will Miami defend Rondo?

Mario Chalmers, and Mike Bibby cannot defend Rondo on the break, and putting Dwyane Wade on Rondo could limit his much needed scoring. If Rondo attacks, and GOD forbid, his jumper is falling, the Heat will be in big trouble.

2. Which bench will show up?

Boston’s bench is still in the process of learning what exactly Doc Rivers wants from it. Jermaine O’Neal played years younger in the first round, and Jeff Green showed the potential that led the Celtics to trade for him mid-season. Miami rotated it’s roster numerous times in the first round, and will definitely need them to elevate some of the pressure off of the Heat’s Big

3. Will Shaq play?

The Celtics didn’t need Shaq against the Knicks, but his inside presence will be needed as Dwyane Wade and LeBron James drive repeatedly to the basket.

Schedule:

Game 1, Sunday, May 1, Miami, 3:30 p.m. ET (ABC)

Game 2, Tuesday, May 3, Miami (time and TV TBD)

Game 3, Saturday, May 7, Boston, 8:00 p.m. ET (ABC)

Game 4, Monday, May 9, Boston (time and TV TBD)

Game 5, Wednesday, May 11, Miami (time and TV TBD)

Game 6, Friday, May 13, Boston (time and TV TBD)

Game 7, Monday, May 16, Miami, 8:00 p.m. ET (TNT)

(Photo by Brian Babineau/NBAE via Getty Images)

In Game 2, Rajon Rondo took FULL advantage of the inexperienced Toney Douglas scoring 22 of his 30 points on field goals inside of 5 feet of the basket. Rondo scored 14 points in the 1st quarter on lay-up, after lay-up in transition, and 16 total points in transition, seven more points then the Knicks.

Ray Allen finished with 18 points, Paul Pierce had 20 points, but the game ball goes to Kevin Garnett, who also took advantage of a lesser player.

Garnett sank the go-ahead basket with 14 seconds left over Jared Jeffries then stole the ball from him with 4 seconds insuring victory. “I wasn’t really in a nice rhythm,” said Garnett, who had 12 points and 10 rebounds. “I just remained calm, went to a shot I knew I could make.”

The Knicks were without Chauncey Billups, and midway through the first half Amar’e Stoudemire was sidelined with back spasms. That left Carmelo Anthony in a familiar role, all by himself. Anthony matched his career playoff high for points(42) and set a new high with 17 boards. He was 4 assists away from his second career triple-double.

Through three quarters, Anthony had made 10-of-22 shots while the rest of the Knicks were 12-for-47.

Game 3 is Friday at New York, 7:00 p.m. ET, ESPN/ Celtics lead series 2-0

AP Photo/Winslow Townson

The Celtics led for just 60 seconds in the second half until Ray Allen sank a go-ahead 3-pointer with 12 seconds left and beat the Knicks 87-85 in their playoff opener on Sunday night.

Over the last 5 postseasons Ray Allen has hit more go-ahead three pointers(54%) then anyone in the NBA.

Ray Allen led the Celtics with 24 points, Paul Pierce added 18 and Kevin Garnett had 15 points and 13 boards. Rajon Rondo was a dime, and a board from a triple-double(10,9,9). But the Big 4 got help from 6-6 shooting from Jermaine O’Neal, who also added 4 blocks.

Carmelo Anthony struggled throughout the game, picking up 2 fouls in the first 88 seconds, and a crucial offensive foul with 21 seconds remaining. He finished with 15 points on 5-18 shooting, many of which were heavily contested shots.

“Ray’s the hero with the shot,” Rivers said. “Paul’s the hero with the pass. That’s a great example of not playing hero basketball, just trusting what we drew up. And he made the shot.”

/via @mrtripledouble10

Amare’ Stoudemire had 28 points, 11 boards, and carried the Knicks down the stretch until Kevin Garnett tightened up the defense. Bad news for the Knicks, Chauncey Billups left with 51 seconds remaining with what he said was a strain in his left knee or thigh muscle. He and D’Antoni said they didn’t know his status for Game 2.

The Knicks, in the playoffs for the first time in seven seasons, last won a postseason game on Apr. 29, 2001.

Game 2 at Boston, 7:00 p.m. ET, TNT/Celtics lead series 1-0

#1 Chicago Bulls vs. #8 Indiana Pacers

The Bulls shocked many in the NBA, finishing with the best record in the East. Just as shocking was the Indiana Pacers making the Playoffs. Chicago won three of the four games against Indiana this season, and shouldn’t have to much trouble eliminating the Pacers from the Playoffs.

We didn’t even expect the Pacers to make the Playoffs, so winning two games in this series isn’t that big of a stretch. Look for Chicago to display the defense that got them the #1 record, coupled with soon-to-be-MVP Derrick Rose doing everything. Chicago will go as far as Derrick Rose can carry them. We wait to see how long Rose can do everything every game.

#2 Miami Heat vs. #7 Philadelphia 76ers

The Miami Heat had numerous ups and downs throughout the season, but one constant remained strong; Lebron James. If the race for MVP was about the best player in the league then LeBron James would be weeks from his third straight MVP award. However James plays with another player who will receive MVP votes, Dwyane Wade, and their chemistry will ultimately tell the tale of the Heats success.

Aside from James, Wade and Chris Bosh, the Heat are mostly role players(Mario Chalmers, James Jones, Ilgauskas, Old-Ass Juan Howard). Role players that will desperately be needed to play at peak levels in order for the Heat to begin to fulfill their quest for six titles. Against the 76ers those role players sadly won’t be that necessary. The Heat won all 3 games against the Heat by a 10 point average.

Philadelphia hasn’t been to the Playoffs in ages, and sadly they won’t be around long in these playoffs. The 76ers athleticism will make for exciting basketball but it wont translate into victories.

#3 Boston Celtics vs. #7 New York Knicks

The Boston Celtics limp into the Playoffs for the second year in a row. Last year they went 3-7 down the stretch, but displayed visually the concept of ‘turning it on’, making it to the Finals and losing to the Lakers in seven games. Are the Celtics capable of pulling this off again this year? Of course they are capable and the New York Knicks make for the perfect first round matchup. The age-old battle of offense vs. defense.

New York knew they would be in the Playoffs when they signed Amare’ Stoudemire in the off-season. The addition of Carmelo Anthony adds even more fuel to the Knicks bandwagon. The Knicks will be a formidable foe, but they lost all three times to the Celtics in games decided in the last three minutes. Closing out games was the Knicks achilles during the season. Will it carry over into the Playoffs? Knicks and Celtics play their lasts game of the season against each other on April 13th.

#4 Orlando Magic vs. #5 Atlanta Hawks

Easily the lowest rated series of this years Playoffs, pits the Magic against the Hawks who they sweep out the Playoffs last year. We wouldn’t be surprised if the same thing happens this year. Atlanta may arrive in these Playoffs with more passion then they have shown since the All-Star break, but the outcome of the series still favors Dwight Howard, and the Magic.

SCHEDULE UPDATE:

No. 1 Chicago vs. No. 8 Indiana — Saturday at 1 p.m. ET on ESPN

No. 2 Miami vs. No. 7 Philadelphia — Saturday at 3:30 p.m. ET on ABC

No. 3 Boston vs. No. 6 New York — Sunday at 7 p.m. ET on TNT

No. 4 Orlando vs. No. 5 Atlanta — Saturday at 7 p.m. ET on ESPN

Mike displaying his “video game cheat” abilities against Dennis Johnson and the Boston Celtics.  Jordan in his i still haven’t shaved my head bald phase nearly comes up with a quadruple double 42 points, 9 boards, 11 dimes, and 8 steals. Enjoy the color commentary of the masterful Hubie Brown. Bulls Head Coach Doug Collins appears pretty pleased with the outcome at the end, while Phil Jackson and Tex Winter walking off the court together was priceless.

Mike had 16 triple-doubles in the 1988-89 season averaging 32.5 points 8.0 dimes. 8.0 boards while shooting 54 % from the field.