A number of trades were executed prior to the NBA trading deadline. Antawn Jamison joined the Cavs. Caron Butler added scoring and toughness to the Mavs roster in a trade that saw the much-maligned Josh Howard moved to the woeful Wizards. Perhaps the biggest trade involved a three-team deal between the Kings, Rockets, and Knicks that saw Kevin Martin move to the Rockets, Carl Landry and Larry Hughes go to the Kings, and Tracy McGrady and his valuable expiring contract head to the Knicks. There were other players and picks involved in all of the deals I just mentioned.
But, there was an underlying theme for the majority of these mid-season moves: GET LEBRON JAMES! It’s no secret that King James is the most coveted free agent in the upcoming offseason, probably in NBA history.
General Managers are maneuvering in order to have enough paper to give the reigning league MVP a max contract. Some of the teams who have expressed interest include the Knicks, Nets, Mavs, and his current team, the Cavs. So, if I was LeBron, I would take advantage of being the hot commodity and make some requests of my salivating suitors. Here are some suggested requests (To make this fun, the requests are as ridiculous as possible and are pretty much things I would like to see).
Dallas
- A box suite at Cowboys Stadium
- All African-American players on the Mavs must wear a Rolando “Blackman” jersey
- Bring back Roy Tarpley as an assistant coach
- Have the guy that played J.R. Ewing from the show “Dallas” hand LeBron his powder before the King does the pre-game “Powder Shower” at home games
New Jersey
- Move the Nets to Brooklyn earlier and name the court “King James Court”
- Bring back Lucious Harris as SG (I just like his name).
- Have a throne installed in front of James’ locker
- Rename the Nets the “Bucktowners” when the team moves to Brooklyn and have Brooklyn emcees such as Mos Def and Lil’ Fame from MOP perform the National Anthem
New York
- A fly crib in each of the five boroughs
- Every player must sport a 90’s era Patrick Ewing high-top fade and an orange pair of Ewings
- A box suite at Yankees Stadium
- Bring back Isiah Thomas and name him team “Ethics Manager”
Cleveland
- Have Bone Thugs N’ Harmony serve as James’ escorting theme music group to every home game
- Allow LeBron to attend practice via videoconference at his in-home basketball gym
- Retire LeBron’s #23 jersey now
- Hire Wolfgang Puck to be Lebron’s traveling chef on road games
So LeBron, these are my suggested requests for you. Do I expect you to make them, not a chance. But, it doesn’t hurt to imagine!
